After five years in Izmir, we returned to the Netherlands. It became a period filled with change and adjustment, but also a time of growth and reflection.
Leaving a remarkable chapter behind
Our years in Turkey had given us a great deal. The natural surroundings, sea, culture and people brought new energy and perspective. It was more than a move; it had been an opportunity to begin again after a difficult period.
A new country and culture naturally brought challenges too. The children were taught in English and Mischa learned Turkish. I joined two lessons, but hardly absorbed the language. Fortunately, my “teşekkürler” helped me manage reasonably well.
We created wonderful memories and grew together as a family. Looking back, that period helped me relearn how to live and reconnect with my strength and resilience.
Three months with my parents-in-law
Returning to the Netherlands was a major step for all of us. We spent the first three months with my parents-in-law.
It gave us a safe place between two lives. The children could readjust to the Netherlands while we had time to arrange practical matters and cautiously rebuild a sense of home. We were grateful for the support during this transition.
A new city and much less space
We then moved to Zwolle. We found a rented house, but it had about one third of the space we had been used to in Turkey.
Everything needed a new place. The children returned to school and daily life quickly settled into a strict rhythm. From the outside, our Dutch life seemed to be starting again.
The children found their feet
The children moved back one school year. It proved to be a good decision for their transition. They quickly made friends and adapted remarkably easily.
It was wonderful to see them find their place. At the same time, it made my own disorientation more visible. While they moved forward, I felt like a stranger in my own life.
Missing the structure and connection of Turkey
I missed the structure I had built in Turkey and the connection with people there. In the Netherlands, I sometimes felt alone. I did not yet have activities or a daily purpose to give direction to my days.
Our Labradoodle, Duizel, was my constant companion. He was always happy to see me and encouraged me to go outside. Even so, I missed the conversations, activities and social connections that mattered so much to me.
You are allowed to feel lost after change
Slowly, I began to understand that feeling lost after a major change is all right. Adjustment takes time, especially when you are also living with the effects of brain injury.
You do not need to have all the answers immediately. New connections and a renewed sense of direction often emerge step by step.
Each small step can bring you closer to the person and life that suit you now.