Today I want to share a major change in my life: the transition from running my own business to becoming a stay-at-home mother. It became a journey filled with loss, questions about who I was and, eventually, new insights.
A business filled with purpose and plans
I ran my own return-to-work business and cared deeply about it. Before that, I worked at UWV, where I had learned the profession. Because I no longer wanted to work such long days, I chose self-employment.
My diary was full of appointments, projects and ideas. I dreamed of collaborating with other return-to-work businesses and wanted to make a difference for people seeking a new beginning. Contributing to society gave me great satisfaction.
What came naturally became impossible
After my strokes, everything changed. My energy was limited and things I once did effortlessly became an enormous struggle. The plans I had looked forward to moved further out of reach.
As I struggled with my health, the business gradually faded into the background. Eventually, we closed it. At that moment, I barely considered the loss because all my attention went into surviving and recovering.
Who was I without my work?
Looking back, I felt lost, as though I had given up part of myself. I was no longer the active entrepreneur, but someone sitting at home with a dog.
Our Labradoodle, Duizel, was a wonderful animal, full of life and love. Even so, adapting to this completely different role was difficult. I no longer felt useful. How could I define myself when so much of what had belonged to me had disappeared?
Duizel brought me outside again
Over time, I began to understand that life does not always follow a straight line. Sometimes circumstances lead you along a different route.
Duizel became a wonderful companion. He made me go outside, move and enjoy small things. Looking back, I think Mischa had understood that. During our walks I returned to the present moment and enjoyed nature, fresh air and the simple pleasure of being together.
The joy Duizel brought the children was priceless too.
My value was not contained in one role
Slowly, I discovered that life is not only about the role you fulfil, but about how you can remain yourself in each phase of life.
Being a stay-at-home mother did not mean I had no value. I saw the beauty in caring for a family, listening to my children and sharing small moments together.
I missed my business and its challenges. At the same time, I discovered new interests and different ways to contribute. As I found my place, I cautiously began to dream again.
Identity is allowed to change
To anyone feeling lost in a new phase of life: struggling with that change is understandable. Your identity is not fixed in one job or role.
Life remains a process of change and growth. Give yourself room to discover who you can be now, even when that is different from anything you once expected.